Pepper Ann: Stuck On You (Mass Market Version)
by Lord Malachite
Summary: Milo's enthusiasm for his latest art creation cause him to inadvertently bond himself to Nicky with glue. Now they have to trust in Pepper Ann to get them apart before the rumor mill runs amok with their reputation! Chapter 2 now up!
1. Default Chapter

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When the sun bathed me in its ever-present warmth this morning, it didn't feel any different than usual. There was no reason for this to be anything more than another contented day of education at Hazelnut Middle School. But little did I know, as I tossed forth the covers from my bed, that before I returned, fate would drag me through an unforgettable day of angst and drama the likes of which Shakespeare himself couldn't have written. But alas, even The Bard could not possibly have anticipated the volatile nature of the heart of a female suburban pre-adolescent.  
  
--excerpt from the memoirs of Nicky Little  
  
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A Fanfic by Lord Malachite  
  
"Pepper Ann: Stuck On You"  
  
  
  
Nicky Little didn't mind tagging along with Milo so he could show off his masterpiece. Of course, when Milo used the word masterpiece to describe anything he had created, one usually had to take it with a grain of salt. But Milo wanted to share the "finishing touches" with one of his friends, and Pepper Ann had once again had her wings clipped in detention hall. It seemed that neither of their best efforts to regularly get their red-headed friend to school on time were going to take. But then, that was Pepper Ann, and as time had made the three of them grow ever fonder of one other, they had come to love her for who she was. Besides, even Milo had to admit that Pepper Ann completed their dynamic, filling in the rather unique gaps that he and Nicky couldn't.  
  
"What you are about to witness, is history, Nicky." Milo said with great satisfaction as he walked into the art hall, his blonde friend a step behind him.  
  
"Oh?" Nicky responded, unable to muster up too much enthusiasm. She did applaud Milo for his continued perseverance, despite what other people said about his work. Nicky considered herself a champion of the cause of self-expression. But sadly, even she had found herself unable to connect with any of Milo's artistic endeavors.  
  
Grinning happily, Milo picked up a tube of Krazy Glue™ and showed Nicky over to his latest creation, still draped in a canvas cloth. "Nicky, I give you…Night Terror!" Milo whipped the cloth off of his creation, revealing a rather goofy looking monster with purple skin. It was cross- eyed, with yellow pupils, and a toothy grin. It's arms were warty, yet thin, and for a monster, it was obviously devoid of claws.  
  
"What…is it?" Nicky asked curiously.  
  
"It's the Boogeyman!" Milo said proudly. "I tried to make him look monstrous but also friendly. And once I glue this hat on him, he'll be complete."  
  
"It's rather…an interesting subject to choose as a sculpture."  
  
"I figured that if I could make him look friendly, kids wouldn't be afraid of him anymore. Or at the very least, he'll make a cool guard for my comic book collection."  
  
"You do have a passion for your work." Nicky commented as Milo began applying the glue to the monster's hat, the hat looking not dissimilar to Milo's own, except that the rainbow pattern was much more prevalent on the Boogeyman's.  
  
"Do me a favor? Hold him steady while I apply this, I want to get it just right."  
  
"Sure." Nicky bent over slightly and got a firm grip on the base of the statue. Satisfied, Milo slapped the hat onto the Boogeyman's head, adjusting it back and to the left to try and get just the right angle.  
  
"I wish P.A. had been here to see this." Milo mused as he finally achieved his goal, and stood back to admire the perfection of his work.  
  
"Oh!" Nicky suddenly exclaimed as several drops of the white glue seeped out from underneath the recently applied hat and splashed her on the cheek.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Some of the glue fell onto my face."  
  
"Whoa, hang on, let me gets something to wash that off before it bonds! Whatever you do, don't touch it Nicky!" Milo ran over to the large sink and grabbed a handful of paper towels. Quickly wetting them, Milo rushed back over to his friend, tripping over a table leg. Momentarily, they both fell to the ground with a thud, Milo with his nose squashed against Nicky's.  
  
"Ow!" Nicky vocalized. Milo apologized without delay and moved to give Nicky her personal space back, only to find that he couldn't pull very far away from her at all, only a paltry two centimeters.  
  
"Uh-oh." Milo sighed.  
  
"Uh-oh what?"  
  
"I think our faces just got bonded."  
  
"Oh no!"  
  
"What are we going to do?!"  
  
"Okay, relax Milo. Let's not panic. There's got to be something to dissolve it with, right?"  
  
"I don't know, Nicky, it's Krazy Glue™ ! You know, the glue that has the commercials where that guy glues his head to an airplane and then he gets carried two miles?!  
  
The two of them helped each other into a standing position, a process that took four attempts to be successfully accomplished. Milo tried to turn his head slightly away so they could both breathe. With effort, he found that since they were connected by opposite cheeks, they could each rest their heads on the others' shoulder. "Maybe it's a good thing Pepper Ann didn't come after all. You and I would never live this down."  
  
"I'll say. This is going to be kind of weird."  
  
"Let's just try to think of it as a chance to catch up with each other."  
  
"Man, this is really the sort of thing that should happen to P.A."  
  
The door then creaked open slightly, but neither of them heard it. "It's okay, Milo, the two of us will just have to figure things out the best we can."  
  
"But what will we tell our parents?!"  
  
"What should it matter?"  
  
"But what are you going to tell Stewart?"  
  
"If we're careful, he won't even have to know."  
  
"And what about P.A.?"  
  
"If she finds out, I suppose we'll just have to face her wrath."  
  
"You're not much for worrying, are you Nicky?"  
  
"I just have faith that things will always work out okay in the end."  
  
"Oh really?" That voice hadn't come from Milo.  
  
"Who's there?" Milo asked. "We could really use some help here!"  
  
"Oh? You two seem to be getting along just fine."  
  
"Oh no!" Nicky whispered. Raising her voice, she tried to steel herself for and stop the situation from getting out of control. "Hello, Stewart. She turned towards her significant other and smiled. I'm afraid you've caught me at a rather awkward moment."  
  
"An awkward moment?!" Stewart sputtered. "Nicky, I can't believe this! This isn't like you! Why would you do something like this behind my back?!"  
  
"You're misunderstanding."  
  
"Don't bother! I heard you! 'If we're careful, he won't even have to know.' Is that really all you think of me? I don't believe this! I thought you were cool Nicky." Stewart's head drooped. "You're so smart, and pretty, and talented, you're the coolest person I know! We got along pretty good together. I just…I would never in my wildest dreams think you would go and do something like this to someone. Do me a favor! When you and Kamalani here send out your wedding invitations, cross me off the list." With those words, Stewart ran out of the room.  
  
"Stewart!" Nicky called after him, and took a step, but Milo grabbed hold of her waist and stopped Nicky in her tracks.  
  
"Chill, Nicky."  
  
"Let go, I have to go and explain to him!"  
  
"First, we have to solve our problem. Besides, look at from his POV. Do you have any idea how compromising this looks?"  
  
Nicky looked down at the two of them, then back up at Milo's face before blushing. "I hadn't even really thought about that."  
  
"Probably because I'm not a Victorian gentleman." Milo laughed, his comment causing Nicky to blush even more. "Don't worry, after we get unstuck, you and I can both explain it all to Stewart. He really likes you Nicky, once we're able to explain things, he'll apologize. Just give him a few days for the shock of your "betrayal" to wear off.  
  
Nicky sighed, wishing she hadn't disappointed Stewart. "Milo, you and I have got to split up!"  
  
"No argument here."  
  
"You don't know the half of this! Remember how it practically turned the school upside down when everyone was convinced that you and Pepper Ann were a couple?"  
  
"Uh-oh!"  
  
"Stewart has already gone off and is probably already getting the rumor train underway. We've got to separate ourselves and stop it before I end up giving another concert!"  
  
"Hey, do you still have that autoharp?"  
  
"Milo!"  
  
"Sorry! Anyway, how are we going to get this gunk off?"  
  
"Let's see if we can get to Mr. Reason. His shop is bound to have something that can dissolve this glue."  
  
"We'd better hurry before he leaves!"  
  
And as quickly as their predicament allowed (which wasn't very fast at all), the two friends began slinking their way towards the wood shop.  
  
As far as detentions go, Peeper Ann Pearson had found this one to be endurable. She had managed to draw 3 doodles of Craig, as well as get a good start on rereading the last 6 issues of the Fuzzy comic book. By the time 3:30 rolled around, she was ready to face the rest of her afternoon. "It's just my darned luck that my friends aren't around when I need them." She sighed. Walking home alone wasn't one of Pepper Ann's favorite pastimes. In fact, she hated it. She was too cool to have to walk alone! "Wait, Milo was all excited about finishing his sculpture today, so they're probably in the art room." Feeling pleased with her impeccable powers of deduction, Pepper Ann smiled to herself as she headed for the art room, ready to face whatever misunderstood monstrosity Milo was going to unleash on the world this time.  
  
"This is not happening!" Nicky cried as she banged on the locked door of the woodshop.  
  
"Great, now what are we supposed to do? I can't sleep like this! I'll be all hot!"  
  
Nicky growled and shook Milo by his shoulders, until she quickly decided that she was hurting herself just as much. "Milo, you've already managed to make me uncomfortably sweaty AND ruin my relationship with Stewart, and all you're worried about is sleeping? In case you hadn't noticed, we need a divorce!"  
  
"Whoa, hey, chill! What happened to the cool, collected Nicky?"  
  
"If the cool, collected Nicky can't get her face separated from yours, she's going to end up in an institution!"  
  
"No way! That means I would have to go too!"  
  
"All the more incentive for you to think us a way out of this!"  
  
"Okay, let's just think this through calmly. All we really need to do is get some dissolvent for this glue. Why don't we just go to a hardware store or something? I know the company makes a dissolvent."  
  
"Why doesn't the art lab have it?"  
  
"Because we're kind of not supposed to use Krazy Glue™ on our projects?"  
  
"Milo!"  
  
"What?! I didn't want to risk that beautiful cap coming off! Once I got it right, I wanted to make sure it would stay there for all of posterity to see! My brilliance must be preserved!"  
  
Nicky took several deep breaths and sought peaceful thoughts. "Do you really think we're going to be able to walk all the way downtown like this?"  
  
"Well, we made it up to the woodshop. I'm sure we can figure something out."  
  
"Then the only other question I have to ask is do we really want to be seen in public like this? The rumor machine?"  
  
Milo sighed. "We're cooked. . .unless we can get someone to do it for us?"  
  
"You aren't seriously considering. . .?"  
  
"We gotta get P.A.!"  
  
Milo and Nicky rushed back to the art lab, hoping against hope that Pepper Ann would drop by after detention. Of course, detention had let out three minutes earlier, and with their slow and awkward pace, they couldn't afford to waste a second. As luck would have it, they were just collapsing onto a bench in the art room when Pepper Ann strolled in. After looking at her two friends, she had only one thing to say. "You two are sick."  
  
It took a few minutes for Pepper Ann to hear the story of how Milo and Nicky had gotten, well, "together." Of course, she found it uproariously funny, and only wished she had been there to see the whole thing. "Wait a minute," she asked, "you said Stewart came in and found you like this?"  
  
"Yes." Nicky sighed deeply.  
  
"Oh, the poor man!" Pepper Ann giggled. "Baby did a bad, bad thing, huh? Well, don't worry, we'll straighten this whole mess out. You two just sit tight, and I'll go out and buy the antidote for your little, well, predicament." Her eyes lit up as she began singing to herself. "You ever love someone so much you thought your little heart was gonna break in two? I didn't think so. You ever try with all your heart and soul to get your lover back to you? I wanna hope so. You ever pray with all your heart and soul just to watch her walk awaaaaaaay!"  
  
"Pepper Ann!" Nicky yelled.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Not helping!"  
  
"Sorry Nicky, inspiration. All right, I'm off to go and put an end to your woes! In the meantime, try talking civilly to pass the time and try to stay away from windows so no one else sees you like this. Especially Tessa and Vanessa! If we don't nip it in the bud, the rumor mill is going to be spiraling out of control! With that, she ran off through a nearby set of double doors and began her search for the cure.  
  
"Do you think she'll come through, Milo?"  
  
"P.A. can be a little scatter-brained, but she is a true blue friend. She won't leave us hangin'."  
  
"Sorry. When all our hopes rest on Pepper Ann, I sometimes get a little. . .fidgety."  
  
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I know that this story sounds rather implausible, especially since Pepper Ann wasn't even the one to visit disaster upon us, but I'll tell you that things only get more believable from here on out. I can only hope as I write these experiences down that in the future, I'll be able to look back on them with my friends and family, or even by myself, and remember the roller coaster that was my adolescence with fondness.  
  
--excerpt from the memoirs of Nicky Little  
  
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To Be Continued. . .  
  
  
  
Author's Notes—I wrote this story with the express intention of trying to make it as realistic to the series as possible. Being a 22 year old male with an English degree, I've dedicated a significant part of my online life to fanfiction. I usually target deep Japanese anime, but this time out I really wanted to play around in the fun-loving world of Pepper Ann. I only hope that you fans of the cute red-headed girl will enjoy my fic. I do promise that in the conclusion of this story, Pepper Ann plays a larger role. I tried to set my story up to play out like a full-length episode, done in two segments. As you read this, I'm probably hard at work on the second half. Maybe I've even finished it! Lastly, I voluntarily rated this fic PG. It could probably pass a G just fine, but I always like to cover myself in case someone is offended or something. But I honestly don't think there's anything in here you wouldn't see in a normal episode of "Pepper Ann."  
  
In the meantime, I'd really love it if you would send in your comments to ranger_writer@yahoo.com Did you love this fic? Did you hate it? Why? I always want to do better, so let me know, okay?  
  
Until next time, I remain yours,  
  
Lord Malachite 


	2. Bonds Of Friendship

Pigeons took flight in their effort to remove themselves from the blading path of Pepper Ann Pearson. They lifted off in all directions just as the red-headed girl in question lifted off of a four-step cement stair in the sidewalk and, surprisingly, glided onward with little difficulty. Not that a misstep was likely to hurt very much. Past experiences made Pepper Ann a spokeswoman for safety, and she was always properly outfitted with a helmet and pads. She was considering investing in a pair of gloves as well, because when she did take a tumble, the palms of her hands often substituted as breaks. Unfortunately, when the palms of her hands and the pavement challenged each other to a duel, her hands had a tendency of losing the battle. Half a year ago she remembered scraping them so hard that there were tiny fragments of rock embedded in them—not only had her hands lost the war, they had gone over to the other side! Playing Crunch Pod hadn't been much fun for a week and a half after that little incident.  
  
Given the current set of circumstances, though, Pepper Ann was willing to throw a little caution to the wind. Her friends needed her to save them, for a change. Besides, if she didn't get them unstuck soon, she was going to miss Crazy Twin Shenanigans! Fortunately, the hardware store wasn't too far away from school. One of the advantages to living in a suburb was that all of the shopping needs were accessible either on Main Street or at the mall. As much as she might've enjoyed a little jaunt to the mall in search of the perfect useless artifact to waste her allowance on, her better judgment prevailed and she set a course for the small shops of Main Street. She felt focused, uncharacteristically so. As far as her balding went, she was in the zone. It had been ages since she had felt such precise control. She was a woman with a mission, and nothing was going to distract her—  
  
"Hey, Pearson!"  
  
For one brief, shining moment, the world had made sense to Pepper Ann Pearson, age 12 and a quarter. Then Craig Bean had spoken to her. It was unfortunate that the eighth grader had such a tendency to do these kinds of things to her. She felt her feet turn sideways she tried to make a very hasty stop. She succeeded in sending the sand of the sidewalk flying everywhere. Her own body was spared all but the most minor injuries as she managed to embrace a convenient light post, which she realized had saved her from falling unceremoniously on her rump. "Ugh." She moaned as she released the light post and began sweeping the sand off of herself.  
  
"Nice entrance. You cool?" Craig inquired.  
  
"Huh? Oh! Yeah, I'm cool!" Pepper Ann laughed hesitantly. She found her eyes unable to look at him, and they drifted downwards, towards his shoes. "Oh, Craig! I got all this sand on your sneakers! I'm sorry!"  
  
"No sweat. They're only sneakers. Besides, it was worth the show."  
  
Pepper Ann took a modest mock bow. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week!"  
  
"Got any plans?"  
  
"Just running an errand for my friends. I guess you could say they're in a sticky situation, and now they need me to get them out of it."  
  
"I get you. That's cool. I'm meeting some guys over at the Freezy Pleezy in a few. Wanna come with?"  
  
Pepper Ann resisted the urge to bang her head against the light post. Why was it that Craig was always inviting her to stuff when she was busy? Why did the purveyors of pre-adolescent romance mock her so? "I'd really like to Craig, but I promised--"  
  
"S'okay. I understand. Seeya around, right?"  
  
"Yeah." Pepper Ann hung her head. "Seeya around."  
  
Craig turned and began walking away. Pepper Ann turned in the opposite direction, but before she could launch herself onwards, she heard the sounds of her own voice escaping her throat. Funny, she never recalled commanding herself to speak.  
  
"Craig!" She called after her increasingly not-so-secret-crush.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Pepper Ann quickly bladed over to Craig's new position. "Listen, I know I seem to be busy more often than not as of late. I'm sorry, I keep kind of a full schedule. I could go to Freezy Pleezy with you after soccer practice tomorrow!"  
  
"That would be cool. But hey, don't stress yourself."  
  
"It's no trouble. We're friends, right? It's my fault we never hang out. I just wanted to let you know that I notice."  
  
"You're pretty cool, Pearson. All right, you got yourself a deal. Seeya tomorrow?"  
  
"Count on it!"  
  
This time, Pepper Ann glided off with a much happier heart. So happy was she that she had to stop to admire herself in the window of the local computer shop.  
  
"Did you just make a date with Craig Bean?" her reflection asked.  
  
"Um. . .maybe? I wouldn't really call it a date. More like a rescheduling of the event he proposed for today."  
  
"Look at you, you're not even nervous!"  
  
"That's because I'm in the zone today. I mean, check it out! I'm off to help my friends out of a jam and I didn't even come up with a crazy scheme that would only make things worse and tax the boundaries of our friendship. I'm just going to buy the dissolvent and bring it to them."  
  
"Whoa! Okay! Who are you and what have you done with the real me?!"  
  
"Of course it's me! Otherwise you couldn't be my reflection, right?"  
  
Her mirror image seemed to ponder this for a moment. "I guess I can't argue that. Okay, so what's the deal? Why no crazy scheme?"  
  
"Eh, gotta save something for the next episode, right?"  
  
"Point taken. Okay, I'm buying. But it still seems a little off."  
  
"Okay, okay! Fine! If you must know, I was planning on taking a picture of them and selling it to Tessa and Vanessa! Sheesh!"  
  
"I'd be careful if I were you. Antagonizing them might unleash Nicky's dark side. Need I remind you of what she's capable of when she goes off the deep end?"  
  
Images of Nicky chasing her around with an axe began filling Pepper Ann's mind. Recoiling in horror, she shook her head vigorously to clear it. "Point taken! Okay, your right, no picture. It's a shame, too, because I could've made enough off of it to buy that black velvet Fuzzy painting I've always wanted." She sighed. "I guess I'll just strictly play the good Samaritan today. Curse you, conscience!"  
  
Pepper Ann's reflection folded her arms across her chest in offence. "Hey! Without me, you'd probably be doing hard time, or be on the lam, or getting into Fuzzy only knows what kind of trouble. You owe me, sister!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Pepper Ann mumbled as she gave a raspberry to her mirror image and resumed her blading, cursing yet another get-rich-quick scheme gone bust.  
  
  
  
"How long does she expect us to stay like this?!" Nicky groaned.  
  
"Hey, c'mon, it could be worse. She'll be back soon, I'm sure." Milo tried to soothe his friend, but to little avail.  
  
"Milo, this is Pepper Ann we're talking about. She probably got distracted by a game of Crunch Pod, or by a sale on back issues of Fuzzy comics, or some totally buff hottie walking down the street, or--"  
  
"Have a little faith, will you?"  
  
"I don't have time for faith!" Nicky squealed. "I should be studying for the history test tomorrow!"  
  
"We can get a start on that now."  
  
"How?!!"  
  
"By going back to that most classic form of expression, the poem. Observe." Milo took a moment to clear his throat, then recited a couplet that every self-respecting school boy and girl knows. "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Now, you try."  
  
"I don't know, Milo. . ."  
  
"Just try it."  
  
Nicky blushed a little before finally giving in. "Many a lady found him quite svelte, say hello to Roosevelt!"  
  
"See, you're getting the hang of it already."  
  
"If you say so." Nicky flipped her hair back, taking Milo with her through the motion.  
  
"Hey, watch the sudden moves!" Milo called as he rubbed his sore cheek.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I forgot."  
  
"That was weird."  
  
"What was weird?"  
  
"I can't remember the last time I saw both your eyes at the same time. You're always obscuring one of them with your bangs."  
  
"I guess that's just my thing."  
  
"They're nice eyes. You don't have to hide them, y'know."  
  
"Stop it! You sound just like Stewart! It's. . .unsettling."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Besides, you prefer Gwen Mezzrow's anyway, don't you?"  
  
"Sometimes. I don't think I have a crush on her today. Maybe I do. I dunno, I haven't seen her."  
  
"Please explain that one to me. How can you two have this kind of situation! Either you have a crush on her or you don't!"  
  
"I don't know, Nicky, but it's a scientific fact that Gwen Mezzrow and I just can't like each other on the same day. For that to happen, the planets would have to be in some sort of weird alignment or something."  
  
Nicky sighed. "Men."  
  
Milo snorted in retort. "This from the girl who said my 'guylessness' is what makes me desirable. I don't think I'll ever understand women."  
  
"Indeed, it's amazing that the human species has managed to propagate for this long."  
  
"Why do you think that is?"  
  
"I chalk it up to dumb luck."  
  
"I'd sure have loved to buy them a Coke, my good friends, Raleigh and Roanoke."  
  
Nicky sighed and began searching her mind for another stupid history limerick. "Hurry, Pepper Ann, hurry."  
  
To Be Concluded. . .  
  
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Author's Notes—This story has grown a wee bit larger than I originally intended, but I suppose that isn't necessarily a bad thing. There will only be one more installment, I promise. In all honesty, I could've squeezed everything into this part, but that would've taken another week or two, and I feel it's high time I updated this thing. So here you are. I admit that I'm having a very good time writing this story. As I mentioned in the previous installment, my goal is to write this as though it were an episode of the series. Since I seem to be getting some positive feedback on this story, I will confide in you that I've got all the makings of a Pepper Ann feature film in my head. I don't think I'm ready to unveil all the details just yet (well, maybe if you write in and beg and plead and offer to name your children after me), but if I decide to write this thing, I'm pretty confident there will be fans out there screaming to see it animated. But that's enough tooting my own horn for the moment.  
  
If you are enjoying this story, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know. The love and adoration of my work is what keeps me writing it. I like to make people happy with what I write, so if I'm making you happy, tell me, okay?  
  
Leave a review, folks, but never be shy to contact me at ranger_writer@yahoo.com I love making new friends! See you soon!  
  
Lord Malachite  
  
  
  
  
  
STOP! Did you know that you are reading an inferior version of this story? This version is called the Mass Market Version (MMV). The Author's Preferred Version (APV) is available exclusively at Swead Entertainment http://www.intcon.net/~sonny/se/ Chapter 2 contains two additional scenes that are not in this version. See what you're missing?! 


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